This is Getting Old

THIS IS GETTING OLD
a South Park fanfic by Johnny Ether

It is October 19th. Today, you would've been twenty-five years old. A quarter of a century of life, love, memories. A life of some kind of prosperity, or at least some kind of responsibility for a man your age.

But today, you've only just turned ten. Once again, you're sitting in a fourth-grade classroom, as if nothing much has changed. You would be waiting to celebrate your birthday somewhere, either at that pizza place or at home or wherever. You would still be hanging out with friends on the playground at recess. You're still just a boy.

Meanwhile, it's been thirteen years since the towers had fallen, fifteen years since that massacre near your town, seventeen years since your "friend" and his first encounter with the Visitors… the whole world around you has changed, but nobody else has.

What the hell happened?

You've sat through six different Presidential elections since you were born, and four different Presidents have came and went into office. The Persian Gulf War started when you were around three years old, and the invasion of Iraq began when you were supposed to be fourteen. The Denver Broncos, that football team you like, have gone to the playoffs thirteen times since you were born; they won the Super Bowl two years in a row at one point.

Many celebrities have had their fifteen seconds of fame; some have been around for many years, for more than half of how old you would've been. Many trends have come and gone; some are still continuing to this day. The Internet was born before your very eyes, yet it is 2014 and you are still the age where you might be considered a beginner.

Seventeen years ago, you were just eight years old. Now it is seventeen years later, and you would've been twenty-five.

But today, you're still ten. Today, you're still just a boy.